A year-end reflection is my favorite thing to do this time of year.

Naturally, I started my 2021 recap by scrolling through my camera roll and collecting all of my favorite memories into a 12-second reel for instagram. I realized that like most people, my IG grid doesn’t exactly showcase everything that I’ve achieved and overcame this year...in fact, it shows quite the opposite, so I wanted to use this space to dig a little deeper, be vulnerable and truly reflect on my highs, my lows and everything in between.

I was recently inspired by the episode, 9 Powerful Reflection Questions for 2021 on the On Purpose with Jay Shetty podcast. I used this inpso to guide me through my 2021 reflection && because I always like to go all out, I added a few bonus questions!

What made you feel most happy?

Over the summer, my mom converted all of my family’s old school video tapes from the ‘90s when my brother and I were growing up. After watching all of these home videos, I recognized two consistent trends that I’ve noticed always make me feel the most happy.

1. Traveling brings me joy like nothing else and these home videos helped me realize why. If you don’t know, I come from a family of divorce, but these home videos were taken back when my family was all still together. && sheesh, these vids showcase how happy my family was as we road tripped across the USA and stopped in at every National Park we came across. The conclusion that I’ve come to is that my passion for traveling to new cities and taking adventures brings me so much joy because it allows me to chase a reality from my past — my happy little family. && while now I’m all grown up and mostly travel solo or with friends, I do my best to not take for granted the happy memories that traveling to new places && new experiences brings to me.

2. Documenting the Journey — If this isn’t already obvious…haha, in these home vids, I was maybe 7 years old traveling around country with a VHS video camera in my hand shooting content of anything and everything that my family saw or experienced. Funny thing is…I still do this to this day, except thanks to technology I have the luxury of shooting from an iPhone instead of lugging around a video camera, haha. The point I’m trying to make is that capturing the moment is something I’ve consistently loved to do since I was a little kid. && always having photo/video memories to look back on at my leisure is something that I truly cherish.

   && LAST, but certainly not least!

3. Moving to Philly — One of my happiest moments this year was moving to the city of Brotherly Love with my first-ever roommate, @StephanieMarie! Moving away from home takes a lot of courage and it can be very hard living far away from your family, but it was one of the best decisions I made this year. I’ve always known that I am a city girl at heart, but I didn’t realize how much more to life there is outside of my hometown and the cookie-cutter lifestyle that I was so used to living. Being in Philly && having a roommate has had its challenges but most of all, it has brought me so much joy, conversation, and flexibility to my every day life.

How will you continue to do things that make you happy next year?

While I don’t exactly see myself moving to a new city in the relatively near future, I am definitely setting travel and content creation goals for me to work toward achieving in 2022. This way, I can chase new adventures, capture the moment and share it with the world.

What made you unhappy this year?

Toxic friendships && relationships. Like the old saying goes “it takes two to tango” and to be blunt, I’m not saying that I didn’t play my part in adding to the toxicity, making the ‘right’ choices or communicating the best…but, what I have identified this year is that people are in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Moving away and meeting new people has helped me recognize that sometimes, I surround myself with toxic people without even realizing it. I gravitate to people who have similar personalities or interests as I do but later I realize that their morals/values aren’t aligned with mine which causes conflict or disconnects. Don’t get me wrong, to each their own! But what I look for in a good friendship or relationship is someone who doesn’t always tell me what they think I want to hear && instead they give me constructive feedback and push me to grow, evolve and be better. I do my best to do the same in return && by treating people the way I want to be treated…but the truth is, that doesn’t always jive with people && that’s OK! It’s ok to let go of friendships or relationships that are no longer serving you.

What is the biggest lesson I learned this year?

Setting boundaries is CRUCIALLY IMPORTANT! A harsh reality for me to realize this year is that sometimes the people you love the most also hurt you the most. && It’s a hard pill to swallow to accept that no matter how hard you try, you cannot change the people around you and you cannot change the things that are out of your control. BUT what you CAN do is set boundaries to protect your heart and your feelings. By not setting boundaries for yourself, you end up enabling the situation or enabling the person to continuously treat you in a way that hurts you.

What is something you wish you did more of this year?

I wish I wrote more because when I write, I get inspired. In Q4 of 2021, I started journaling a lot more by doing weekly reflections that focus on the things I’ve accomplished and the things I can improve on. Then, I would map out a game plan for the week ahead. This weekly journaling time has really helped me reset each week.

I wish I gave myself more high fives. Thanks to @MelRobbins, I realized how often I forget to be proud of myself…even for the little things. && after actively practicing the daily high-five challenge, I have experienced the subliminal yet positive impact it has had on me.

What is something that you want to do less of next year?

People Pleasing — I noticed a lot recently how much the opinions of other people impact my self worth and my ability to make decisions. && seriously, F*** that because by doing this to myself, I end up going down an endless spiral of overthinking that results in me making decisions only to please other people instead of making decisions for myself. Ultimately, I am the one who has to live with my decisions so in 2022, I’m set out to trust my gut instinct and stop doing things just to please the people around me.

Holding onto feelings that do not serve me — I hold onto a lot of feelings that really do not serve me. When my feelings are hurt, it takes a long time for me to let go of whatever it was that hurt my feelings in the first place. By doing this, I let these feelings live rent free in my heart instead of acknowledging why my feelings were hurt and communicating that to myself, the person or situation that hurt me in the first place. I am striving to be more aware of this and focus on letting go of feelings that do not serve me in 2022.

What is your biggest success this year?

I learned how to launch a podcast && I did the damn thing. Shout out to @KaciaFitzgerald and her PodSquad course that I took back in April. It helped me learn the ins/outs of podcast creation && I even launched my first (and only) episode. I also learned that I really don’t love editing audio for podcasts, LOL…which is also why I only ended up publishing one episode. HAHA, I have a lot of episodes in the queue to be edited, but before launching any more episodes, I am re-evaluating if podcasting is something I am passionate about doing right now…cause ya know, it’s OK to change your mind!

What is something you want to learn next year?

I want to learn how to be a marketing consultant and establish a portfolio of work experience by working with various companies and brands. This will help me evolve in my current role and it will also allow me to establish processes & procedures to implement marketing best practices for start up companies or brands.

I want to learn how to build brand partnerships through social media channels and become a travel influencer. It’s not fake news to recognize that social media influencers are making a splash in modern day advertising. Clearly, there are so many perks and financial incentives to building partnerships with brands that believe in your influence and back you professionally. With my marketing expertise, it feels like it would be a lost opportunity for me not to explore the social media influencer space, especially being that I’m obsessed with creating content. So this year, I definitely want to take a bet on myself and learn how to grow into this space.

What is the best way for you to refuel?

Stay fit && healthy is important to me. I do my best to commit to a morning routine every morning where I go for at least a 1 mile walk & listen to podcasts as I stroll through the city. Its a great way for me to kick off my day and start the work day off right.

Working from home definitely has its perks and being that I have control of my work day schedule and how I manage my time, I always try to squeeze in a 45 minute yoga class or work out over lunch.

One of the most important ways for me to refuel is to talk to what I like to call ‘my circle of trust.’ My circle of trust includes my closest family, friends, mentors and my therapist. They know every thing about everything going on in my life and I’m grateful that I can rely on them to laugh with me, cry with me and push me to be a better person and make the right decisions in life. 

BONUS QUESTION: What is the hardest thing you had to do this year?

Let’s face it — Sh** happens && this year, shit hit the fan. I had to face a lot of hardships, make really hard decisions && then, live with my decisions. Here’s a quick break down of the sh** the rocked my world this year.

• I didn’t love the location or culture for where I was living so I decided to move to Philly.

• I realized that I was best friends with someone who I no longer knew so I decided to walk away from the friendship.

• I was stressed out about COVID so I decided to get vaccinated (&& boosted)…& still got covid.

• My car was killing me softly so I decided to buy a brand new car, right after becoming completely debt free.

• I dated a guy who was cool as sh** but was not meant for me so I decided to leave the relationship.

• I had to accept that my dog was sick and slowly dying so I decided to let him cross the rainbow.
  (10.5.21 — RIP Gucci)

Some of these decisions were the hardest decisions that I was so scared to make…but its those same fears that pushed me to make hard decisions, rant about my feelings with the people I care about and ultimately, get through this hard thing, called life.

BONUS QUESTION: What key takeaway will you take with you into next year?

On the other side of FEAR is SUCCESS && the crazy thing is…every time, I get this inkling of fear when I’m facing a hard decision, challenge or hardship, I remind myself that overcoming my fears is what fuels my soul and pushes me to grow…&& then, I take a leap of faith && do the damn thing with these key takeaways in mind.
- Ask for what you want.
- Believe your thoughts have power.
- Receive what you asked for.
- Achieve your goals.
- && Manifest the shit out of your life!!

SO LONG STORY SHORT!

this year, I lost. I won. I failed. I learned. I cried. I laughed. I changed && I loved…but I did not fold. 

the comeback is ALWAYS better than the setback.